The other day, Delmace and I were listening to the CD by the Resurrection Singers of Haiti and when the song “Alelouya” came on, he grabbed his toy microphone and started singing along…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlZpSSCXV8s

Hanging out & talking with Kevin (who wrote the columns about us)...

This is the link to Kevin Cullen’s follow-up column about Delmace’s journey home:

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/02/07/his_nightmares_have_ended/

I am so incredibly happy to have Delmace home with me – almost a year earlier than I had ever imagined (pre-earthquake)…  And I am so grateful to the people who did so much to get him here (and get me to him) – Renee, Diana, Lucy, Dede – I couldn’t have done this without each one of you…

No matter how happy I am right now though, I cannot allow myself to forget the situation in Haiti…

Haiti is still hurting.  Haiti is still broken.  Haiti still needs our help to recover and rebuild for the future. Without our help, Haiti’s future looks bleak…  Please continue to spread the word and encourage people to donate to the relief efforts in Haiti…  The organization that supports the homes in Haiti that are close to my heart is: http://www.heartswithhaiti.org/

Please don’t turn your back on the people of Haiti…

Hanging out at the Embassy... Enjoying the balloon animals made by some volunteers...

Delmace with Ronel and his dad, Ernest at the Embassy... From what I understand, Ronel and Ernest finally made it HOME yesterday!!!!

Sleeping on the military transport plane (from Haiti to Miami) with Renee

Me and D finally reunited at the children's home in Miami!!!

In car in Miami, after leaving children's home...

Me & D on plane from Miami to Charlotte (layover)...

Delmace sleeping on plane from Charlotte to Boston

First minutes at home in his new room...

First breakfast...

Cool dude, riding his Plasma car in the kitchen...

First bath - took me a while to convince him the water wasn't cold...

Sleeping in Mama Cathy's bed with Wally & "Benny Chat"

My little superhero has Humanitarian Parole!!! He's coming HOME!!!!

At first, when I got the phone call late Monday afternoon, I couldn’t understand her words – she was crying and the connection wasn’t great, and all I heard was “leaving now… come back tomorrow…”

It had been a LONG and frustrating day at the Embassy – heck, even getting to the point of being allowed in the Embassy had been long and frustrating…  It seems all I’ve done lately is fill out forms, scan documents, send emails, and make phone calls – and the whole time we didn’t seem to be making any progress.

Renee had been texting me all day from inside the Embassy.  No one would tell her anything.  After she handed over our paperwork – just after 7 AM, she’d had no other communication with anyone all day.  She didn’t even know that anyone was actually looking at our papers – I told her that, after hearing it from my adoption coordinator…

By 4:30 she was tired, irritated, and feeling defeated.  Delmace was tired and hungry, and was a total mess – and a friend who had been with them, had just left and taken (by accident) the bag that had ALL the extra diapers and wipes in it..

So, when I heard “leaving now… come back tomorrow”, I just said something like – “Don’t worry about it, it’s OK, just go home now… We can try again tomorrow…”  But when she said it again – I finally understood her – “No, we are APPROVED! They told us to leave and come back at 8 AM to get the papers!!!”

And then I was crying too…  And after Renee put Delmace on the phone, he just wanted to know why both of us were crying…

So – what does this really mean? – and where do we stand right now?  It means Delmace got approved for Humanitarian Parole. He will get to come to the US as a “refugee” – I will be officially designated as his “sponsor” and after negotiating some more paperwork down in Florida, he will get to come HOME with me!!!  At some point (after the government figures out how they are going to handle these cases), I will get to finish the adoption process and he will legally be my son!!!

So, that’s where things were as of this morning…  Delmace and Renee arrived at the Embassy before 8AM… We were hoping that they’d be able to get on a flight that was to leave in the early afternoon – but that didn’t happen… We waited all day to hear whether the Prime Minister actually signed off on our papers. He has to authorize each child’s papers before they can actually leave…  When they started to organize kids for that early afternoon flight, we were told Delmace’s name was not on the list – and no one could tell us why…  They had to watch a slew of kids (including 6 girls they were supposed to travel with) leave to head to the airport…  I’m not sure if Delmace understood the significance of this mass exit – but Renee sure did… For Delmace it just meant he lost a bunch of his new playmates…

After a lot of emails, texts, and phone calls, we finally heard from the head of my adoption agency (who verified information with people in Washington DC and their data tracking system), and she said: Delmace is totally cleared to travel AND signed off on by the Prime Minister!!!  His name should have been on that list to go to the airport – in fact, it very well may have been on that list and we just didn’t know it (since Renee didn’t actually see the list)…  She was just told by the woman “organizing” the kids that his name wasn’t there – but apparently the woman had his last name wrong…  His Haitian last name is SEVENSON – and the woman kept calling him STEVENSON!  Renee kept telling them “no T, take out the T” – but we are now thinking that they didn’t listen…

So, then we spent hours trying to get this “name mess-up” straightened out… Lucy (the head of my adoption agency) was on the warpath at this point – she was calling and emailing Washington and Haiti, left and right…  The big problem was that we couldn’t get the people we needed to in Haiti, to actually read their emails and adjust their information…  As Renee said to me (via text), “Apparently we are in the middle of an international pissing contest… And we are the ones getting wet!”

After more rumors that another plane might be leaving later tonight were squashed – and several more calls back & forth to Renee and my adoption case workers – I had just about given up for the day…  Renee and Delmace were just going to sleep on the floor at the Embassy and hope for better luck in the morning…  I was sitting at the computer, trying to figure out how things had gotten so messed up and wondering if there was any way to straighten out this colossal mess – and then, Lucy called me back….

She had just gotten off the phone with Renee, who I’d talked to only minutes before, and she said that Renee was frantically gathering up their stuff because they had just gotten the word that they were going to the airport!  I’m not really sure what I said to Lucy then – I don’t remember who I talked to after that (I know I talked to a bunch of people)…  I just know that Renee called a few minutes later – and we both were crying…  and Delmace grabbed the phone and he was yelling and excited and so full of energy… and I was crying again because he’s really coming home… My boy is really coming HOME.

They are flying to Miami.  I am booked on the first flight tomorrow morning at 5:30 AM…  And hopefully, by shortly after 9 AM, I will be wrapping my arms around my special little superhero…  and hopefully – if all goes well,  I’ll be bringing him home to Boston by tomorrow night…

Hoping & praying for super powers to bring him safely HOME...

Today was such a difficult and frustrating day – but I know it was so much worse for Renee than it was for me… I feel so bad for everything that she has had to deal with over the past few days (and weeks)… When everything is said and done, and this is finally, finally over, I’ll never ever be able to repay her for all that she’ll have gone through to help bring my boy home – but, I am sincerely looking forward to trying!!!

Oh, and by the way…  that other little boy, Ronel – whose story I posted on my blog a few days ago – Well, Renee and Delmace were hanging out and chatting with him and his Dad earlier this morning…  Delmace shared his toys and lollipops with Ronel… From what I understand, they were able to get out on a flight today too – they’d been waiting to leave since last week…

And for those of you who know the kids at Wings, it turns out that Ronel is from the same Mission that brought Kelly to Wings…  Small world, huh?

OK – that’s it for now…  Hopefully, the next time I post here, it will be to tell everyone that Delmace is really and truly HOME…  Keep your fingers crossed!

Please take a minute and read this blog entry… Say a prayer for Ronel and his family… Delmace – and many, many other kids in Haiti, are caught in the same situation… Don’t believe everything you hear about UNICEF – they are FAR from beings “friends” of international adoption…

http://thehowertons.blogspot.com/2010/01/prayers-for-ronel.html

This has NOT been a good week…  In fact, it’s probably been the hardest few days since those terrible days right after the earthquake.

Last weekend, I really thought we were moving in the right direction…  All these kids were coming home from Haiti – and I was excited for them and their families.  It was almost like every time I turned on the TV, I was witnessing another “airport homecoming”…  I’d followed the stories of a lot of these families, and I felt like each success was like a preview of what I could except in the near future – I mean the really near future…

After a conference call with my adoption coordinator Sunday night, we all had a “game plan”. Things were going to happen…  And they were going to happen this week.  I was confident about it…

But not anymore…  I’m not confident anymore.  I’m scared and worried – and I can’t get a straight answer from any of the people who are supposed to be “helping” me…  All of a sudden – before it was even put into action, the “game plan” got changed.

And when I ask “why?”, instead of straight answers, all I get is “hang in there”, “hold on”, “things will happen soon”…

I’m trying – I’m really trying…  But it gets harder every day.

I just want my little boy home – I just need my little boy home.

Let it be his turn now…  please.

Awesome photo of Delmace from a beautiful book Renee made me for my birthday... She is such a great photographer...

When?

When will I be able to stop worrying? When will I really and truly know that he is safe? When will I be able to wrap my arms around him again and hold him tight? When will I be able to kiss his sweet little face?

When will he be coming home? When will it be his turn?

So many kids have come home in the past few days – but not D.

The plane of kids airlifted to Pittsburg earlier in the week – that was the orphanage that is handling my adoption…  Other families I’ve met through blogging – families also adopting from Haiti, families that I have come to know as I’ve followed their adoption journeys – their kids are coming home.  One arrived yesterday.  Three more this morning…  And while I am so incredibly happy for them and their families, I also have a really hard time fighting back the tears because it’s not Delmace.

And the bottom line is – I have no idea when it will be Delmace’s turn – or if he’ll actually get a turn… I want to believe that he will – but how can I be sure?  They’re letting lots of kids in – kids no farther along in the process than me and D…  But many of them are what they consider “critical cases”…  Kids whose orphanages were totally destroyed; kids who are sleeping outside, on the ground; kids whose orphanages are running out of food & water; kids who were hurt, or are getting sick… I am so thankful that he is NOT in one of those categories, but…

I still want him here now.

After the reports of a major aftershock on Wednesday – and the news that it had done further damage to the Wings building, I was so relieved to hear that the directors had managed to find another building to rent just up the road.  A building that was relatively new, and had sustained no damage from either the initial earthquake or the numerous aftershocks…  But ever since they moved – I feel the distance more than ever…

At this point, they are not getting internet access in the new location – and I feel like I have lost my lifeline.  Their posts and updates assured me that he was OK…  They didn’t even have to write anything – just seeing their “online” status was enough to calm my fears… But now – I haven’t heard from any of them since Thursday afternoon – and it’s killing me… I’m afraid to leave the computer for too long… I’m constantly checking my facebook to see whose online, afraid if I don’t, I’ll miss the little green circle next to one of their names…

People keep telling me to be patient, that his time will come – I really want to believe that, to trust everything happens for a reason, to trust that when it’s right – things will all fall into place…

But… But… But… But then the doubts start… What if I’m supposed to be doing something else to help the process along? Diana, my adoption coordinator, says she’s waiting for a “window” – a good time to get my case and the cases of 8 other “non-critical” kids heard… But what if that “window” never opens? What if it already opened – and we missed it? This is Haiti we’re dealing with – and in Haiti, the rules change all the time…

I don’t know what to do.

Should I prepare for his arrival? Like it’s imminent? Rush to finish getting his room ready? Run out and buy all the things he doesn’t have yet, that I know he’ll need? A part of me really wants to do that…  And, while the distraction factor would probably be good, I just can’t…  Because, what if it doesn’t happen?  That would just be too hard to deal with.

And so, I guess all I can do is just keep waiting – and worrying… And staying close to my computer… And hoping… And trusting… And praying…

Please, God – let today be his day…

I love you, D… I love more than you can ever possibly imagine…

Mwen renmen ou.

Delamce & I - taken in June 2009, at La Villa Creole Hotel in Port au Prince

I was interviewed by NECN today, to tell the story of me & D – and hopefully get a few plugs in for Hearts With Haiti…  It is supposed to air @ 9:00 tonight, and then again @ 10:00 – after that it will be up on their website…  I will post the link here when it becomes available…  I hope it came out OK – I hate talking in front of a camera…

UPDATE:  well, they didn’ t use any of my plugs for Hearts With Haiti, and they kind of twisted a few things I’d said, but hopefully it will still help in getting attention – and help to bring him home…  Here’s the link: http://multimedia.boston.com/m/28420210/boston-woman-hopes-for-quick-adoption-of-haitian-boy.htm

It’s been 5 days since life changed forever…  I continue to be so grateful that Delmace and all the kids of Wings and St. Joe’s have been spared – especially when I watch the news and see all the horrors flash across the screen.  I realize that in many ways, the kids at Wings are so much better off than many of the kids in other orphanages…  But that doesn’t surprise me – whenever I go to Haiti, I always say that.  I have the utmost trust that my American friends who work at Wings, and the Haitian staff – who refer to these kids as their “brothers and sisters”, are doing everything possible to keep them safe and healthy…  But still, I can’t help worrying.

Yesterday, I heard that he didn’t have a good night on Friday…  He woke up several times during the night screaming.  My friend Renee was sleeping next to him.  She said he was having nightmares…  I’m not surprised – I’m sure if I had been through all of this, I’d be having nightmares too…  I’m so glad Renee was there for him,  She held him and comforted him and somehow they got through the night.  I wish I could have done that for him…  I wish he wasn’t having nightmares.  I wish he was home.

Me & Delmace last August

Yesterday, I also heard that when he was getting changed, he asked to use the toilet – and then he really peed on it!  That made me so happy.  When I was in Haiti in November, I was trying to get him to do that.  We did have a few successes, but I was really planning on concentrating on this on my next visit.  I guess Delmace decided to start without me…  Maybe he was trying to surprise me – I’m not sure if I’d pick the aftermath of an earthquake to work on toilet-training…  But at least that made me feel a bit better.  I know he doesn’t understand everything that’s going on right now – but I’m sure he wonders why so much of the house is “off limits” now and why all the adults are stressed and nervous…

Although they may not be in immediate danger, how safe and healthy is it for 60+ people to all be living in one room?  They have food and water – for now…  But how long will it last?  They are all sleeping on mattresses on the floor, pushed close together…  They are worrying about the ominous rain clouds off in the distance, and wonder how a massive downpour will affect the already weakened building at Wings…  I mean, let’s be serious – this is not a good situation – and I’d do anything to get Delmace out of there…  I’m doing everything I can – but he’s still there.  And I can’t help but wonder if he’s thinking “Why isn’t Mama Cathy coming to get me?”…

I hope that someday he understands how hard I’ve been trying.

Wishing I could hold him right now...

Wish it were for different reasons though…

http://www.boston.com/news/world/latinamerica/articles/2010/01/17/maternal_bonds_strained_by_distance_worry/